If cats are
allowed to have nine lives, don’t you think it’s fair to give humans seven “do
over” days in their lifetime?
I
needed one last Saturday! I had planned
on getting things done around the house on Saturday and maybe do a little
shopping. I started getting dressed for the day. I planned on wearing this cute little outfit
that consisted of a turquoise jacket, black shirt, turquoise, gray, black and
white skirt, gray tights and the outfit would be finished off with gray boots
and matching gray leather purse. Cute,
huh? Maybe even an outfit for the
Polyvore boards?
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| The Planned Outfit |
During the
process of getting dressed, I was interrupted and had to run outside. I threw on a jacket and comfy clogs. The Cowboy was outside getting ready to drive
down to Temple, TX to pick up some Dall sheep.
I wasn’t going to go with him, but ended up feeling guilty. He was running late and needed to leave
immediately, so I hopped in the truck, and off we went! We were on the road when I looked down and
realized that I hadn’t finished dressing.
So, instead of wearing this:
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| Still the "Planned" Outfit |
I ended up
wearing this:
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| The Reality Outfit |
Along the way, when we get out of the truck to get drinks and use the facilities, I feel very self-conscious about my appearance. Did I also mention that I forgot to comb my
hair? The handsome Cowboy just saunters
in everywhere we stop like he owns the place.
I notice he walks a little ahead of me, but is very solicitous to
me. I secretly think he is just trying
to garner sympathy because he has such a pathetic, uncombed and unmatched
wife. What a martyr!
We meet up
with our friend, load the sheep and head back home. We are hungry and the Cowboy decides we
should eat at Rudy’s Barbeque. I don’t
want to go anywhere we have to actually go in and attempt to convince him that
eating and driving would be better since we need to get home and pick up the
grandbaby for a night with us. He has
his mind set on Rudy’s, and in we go. We
both had to use the restroom first.
The
restaurant is laid out with long, family style tables. You must walk past all the diners in order to
get to the restroom. Upon reaching about
the middle of the dining room (and in the best spot for the most diners to see
you), I feel something slither down my body!
I looked down and it was…….
My
slip!!
Around my
ankles .........
(that are just above my brown shoes that don’t match my gray tights or
my black, turquoise, white and gray skirt).
I am absolutely positive EVERYONE in the dining room witnessed my fiasco. After all, they were staring at me already because of my get-up!
Normally, I’m a quick thinker, but that’s
usually with a comeback that takes a dig at someone else. I didn’t really know what to do, so I reached
down, pulled the slip up over my skirt, held it around my waist and ran to the
bathroom. I am laughing at this point,
but I’m not really sure if I’m laughing because I think it’s funny or I’m
horrified! I look at the Cowboy as we
both enter our respective bathrooms, and he is grinning at me from ear to
ear! He obviously thinks it's hilarious.
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| The Disaster |
I run into the bathroom, throw the
slip into the trash and lock myself in a stall.
I begin laughing hysterically and can’t stop while I’m doing my business. During this time, two people walk into the
restroom and they must think there is either a hyena or a crazy woman in there
with them. They quickly left. When I finally left the “ladies” I was
hiccupping from laughing and my eyes were still wet and watery. People probably thought I was really upset. The Cowboy was at the counter ordering, so I
had to walk the aisle past all the diners alone. I KNOW they were all staring at me. And once again, they were all pitying the
handsome Cowboy with the pathetic, uncombed, unmatched and now half undressed
wife!
When we sit
down to eat, the possibility of a new horror hits me and I lean into the Cowboy
and ask, “When I pulled the slip up around my waist, did it bring my skirt with
it? OH NO!!! Did I also moon the diners?”
The Cowboy,
in his quiet way, just looked at me with a twinkle in his blue eyes, a soft,
loving smile at his wife, and shrugged.
I’m currently making
plans to move to Siberia where no one knows me.
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