One Year

One year

One year:  A span of time between date A and date B that can seemingly pass without you even noticing, or drag on interminably, depending on your circumstance.

One year:  365 days, 12 months, 52 weeks, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes, 31,536,000 seconds.

One year:  an increment of time used to measure milestones, anniversaries, events.

So much can happen in one year.  The earth completes its revolution around the sun. You can create and birth new life in just one year.  You can fall in love and plan a wedding.  You can plan, save, and go on the vacation of your dreams.  You can start a new business.   So many things full of excitement, anticipation, joy and wonder can be accomplished in just one short year.

I have been thinking of “the” year anniversary that my dear friends faced yesterday.  It’s not the type of anniversary or milestone that is celebrated or even welcomed.  It comes with dreaded anticipation.  It’s “the” year since you last heard your daughter’s voice or welcomed her in your warm embrace.  “The” year since she sent you a silly text or funny picture.  “The” year where the pain of loss feels like yesterday, but the yearning for just one more moment with her feels like an eternity.  “The” year where every one of those 31,536,000 seconds your mind and heart was with her, while struggling to create a “new normal” for you and your family.  But it will never feel normal.

My thoughts have been with my friends every day since “that” day.  Every time I talk to my precious daughter, I think of them and pray that God will help them get through that day.  That He will find a way to give peace and joy in the sorrow.  And, if I’m honest, I thank God that he hasn’t given me that unbearable burden that outliving a child creates.  I have so appreciated their faith, grace, acceptance, perseverance, peace and even the sparks of joy I have witnessed this year as they have faced the milestones of holidays, birthdays and last days together.

I miss you for so many reasons.  I miss you, Megs, because you were a sweet, young woman that I considered another daughter.  I miss you because I watch my daughter miss you daily while she struggles to think of life without her dear friend, and it breaks my heart.  I miss you because I think of the dreams you had that will never be fulfilled.  You had so much to offer.  I miss you because of the dreams your parents had for you that they will never see realized.  I miss you because of the hole that you left behind in this world for all your friends, but especially for your dad, mom and brothers.

One year: a very long time to miss someone.